Man-Beasts in a Primordial World: My Next Project
- Juan-Pablo Pina
- 3 days ago
- 10 min read
by Juan-Pablo Pina
Howdy.
If you’ve spent enough time on the internet, then you’ve probably come across more than a few posts of one kind or another focusing on something called a “cryptids”. Usually, these are things like bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster (or “Nessie” if you’re a friend), or the Mothman. To some people, they’re a fanatical cultural phenomenon propagated by people who believe anything and everything. Others say that they’re real, some say that it’s nuanced, etc.
Now, seeing as monsters as a whole are on my “Top 5 Favorite Things In The World” list (and cryptids in specific crack the Top 10 at least), I wanna put them in the setting for my next big project? Why? Because I wanna be different and because I want to (bite me if you disagree). So, with that, I think it’s time I welcome you to one of Ritrion’s more mysterious sides which may have closer links to mankind than we think: the Man-Beasts of Ritrion.
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Now, maybe it’s because of my autism, or because I find the science of organizing life on Earth genuinely fascinating (probably both), I want to have a clear-cut way to define what we’re counting as a “Man-Beast” in this prehistoric fantasy world. In this setting, we will be defining a Man-Beast as such:
“A Man-Beast is a fictional (as in, doesn’t exist in our world) ape belonging to the Hominidae family of primates (i.e, the “humanoid” great apes like chimps, Australopithecus, and the different species of humans).”
Basically, a Man-Beast is just another species of humanoid great ape. In terms of design style, we will be pulling from real cryptids and legends and adapting them to fit into our primordial setting. This means giving them more scientific plausibility as well as making them make at least some evolutionary sense in such a savage wilderness.
This is partly inspired by the book Cryptozoologicon by paleontologist Darren Naish and illustrated by paleo-artist John Conway. The book tackled the issues of how one would go about classifying and describing the various cryptids of the world in a realistic light, including the various humanoids like the “goatman”, “bigfoot”, “Yeti”, and “Orang Pendek”.
I had an idea at one point to cut the clutter and instead use actual hominids for this like Homo erectus or Homo neanderthalensis, but something about stylizing now-extinct people (who yes, were true people like you or I) and giving them monster labels like “troll” or “grassman” me iba a resingar (the Hispanics, especially Cubans, in the crowd know my lingo). Now, don’t get me wrong, other human species like the Neanderthals and Denisovans will be appearing in this series, but I plan on shining a more respectful light on them.
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In our world, “Pale Crawlers” are elusive and gaunt humanoids sporting the titular pale hide and an ability to be stealthier and faster than most “normal” animals. They’re usually equipped with long and skinny limbs, big eyes, and a total lack of hair. So how do we go about introducing such monsters into our dino/dragon-infested world of wonders and horrors?
Well, I came up with the idea that Pale Crawlers were like these uber-derived hominids, probably close to the long-limbed Ardipithecus, that came from cave-dwelling populations who had been forced into the underground by the colossal megafauna of the surface. In their time underground, they lost the need for insulating hair or pigmentation of any kind while their physiology also adapted to a more cave-adapted lifestyle. Large eyes to see in low light, slim and dexterous limbs to clamber about rocky nooks and crannies, and an extremely skinny body to maximize agility.
The only reason Pale Crawlers are on the surface now is because of the megafauna extinction that took place when humans began to colonize Ritrion near the end of the last ice age (think of it like how it happened in our world at the end of the Pleistocene, only on a larger scale and this time with the aid of dark magic). When the Pale Crawlers finally began to reclaim the wilds they hadn’t seen in thousands of years, they found themselves in something like a giant jungle gym, with the forests being the perfect environments to establish nesting areas (though tales are told of Pale Crawlers hunting in more open spaces like plains or savannas). The only problem, however, was that daylight blinded their light-sensitive vision, so they’d have to become especially good at killing quickly and finding a good place to hide fast, lest they find themselves blind and at the mercy of the very saurian giants they fled from all those eons ago.
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Things do be gettin’ squatchy.
Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Grassman, Yahoo, Honey Island Swamp Monster, Skunk Ape…whatever you call it, this big ol’ hairy bugger is known to be perhaps the most quintessential cryptid of them all. So, naturally I wanted to include them in this project.
The first kind of ‘Squatch is the “Skunk Ape”. Skunk Apes are large, bipedal primates that live largely solitary lives in swamps and floodplains, though some live in pairs or small clans. They have dark brown or reddish fur with streaks of white in the furry rings that encircle their faces. Their most defining feature, however, is their ability to secrete a revolting smell like a skunk’s via glands around their rumps. It’s said to be so potent that even giant wetland carnivores like Spinosaurus will call off their attacks just to avoid getting hit with more of the stink.
I mostly decided to add these guys since I’m a Flo-Grown (Florida-raised) boyo and while I was in my high school’s journalism program called CCNN Live, we actually did a news story on the Skunk Ape for a national competition. Also seeing as it’s one of my home state’s only cryptids, it just feels right to put this unknowable denizen of the swamps into my passion project. Well, he’s unknowable for you all, but since I live in Florida, I can easily identify the Skunk Ape as my boy Ben after he’s had one-too-many beers. But back to the matter at hand.
The second species of Sasquatch is like the “classic flavor”, the “pepperoni pizza” of the Sasquatch (and overall cryptid) world. This is the original “Bigfoot” you hear about living in more temperate forests like modern-day Washington or California. These are a tad more social (depending on the region), and their reaction to other creatures (i.e, whether they are curious, helpful, or aggressive) can also depend on the region. They have been observed tossing rocks at aggressors (such as Pale Crawlers or Nothronychus), but they’re also known to greet newcomers with some degree of decency by maintaining and eerie watch or being upstanding members of society and tentatively inching closer whilst making their presence known gently (this is more often observed in areas where Sasquatches have few predators, which are admittedly few and far between).
Now I wanna get reeeaaal ‘squatchy.
One of the favorite things about this cryptid is the way it acts, which is terrifyingly smart and eerie. Here we’ll imagine that these behaviors apply to all ‘Squatches (and, to be frank, I might use this as a base set of behaviors for other hominids —bar the primitive Pale Crawlers— and even humans depending on what is needed).
Sasquatches mainly communicate over long distances via two means: wood knocks and vocalizations. Wood knocks usually come in patterns that vary in terms of how spaced out each knock is and also the pitch (for reference as to what a wood knock sounds like, just watch this bit, “Bigfoot - More wood knocks”). For example, hearing a “WHACK” in a series of fast and snappy knocks could be like saying “Piss off!” while low and spaced out “tuk, tuk tuk” could be something like a “Who goes there?”. As for vocalizations, Sasquatches can conduct quite a symphony of cries. They can babble, growl, hoot, howl, roar, scream, whistle, and whoop.
Hearing drawn-out, high-pitched howls is usually how Sasquatches will communicate in a hunt (based on this clip here, “Something Huge STALKS Mireya & Ronny After Bigfoot Call”). Conversely, long whooping cries, like a hyena, are how sasquatches test out who’s in the area (this one’s also more often used when a Sasquatch doesn’t know if another member of its kind is near as they’d only do a wood knock if they knew they’d get a response from another ‘squatch).
Other common behaviors to be noted are a tendency to throw things (such as rocks, bones, branches, dirt, etc.) as a defense to stop a confrontation before it begins, a proclivity to mimic the voices of other animals (which can be especially unsettling when you hear diurnal birds calling in the dead of night), and a seemingly strong sense —of all things— towards art. Sasquatches are known to arrange and bind branches and twigs together into spooky structures often called a “Squatch Nest” (though Sasquatches never actually take up residence in these). Sometimes they are merely a pair of logs leaning against a tree, but they’ve also been known to be arrangements that look bizarrely like stars or vaguely human figures. Sometimes, these can be the only warning you ever get that you’re in a Sasquatch’s territory before the beast cordially invites you to get a putazo (those with Hispanic moms know what that means all too well).
So, Ritrion’s woods do be gettin’ ‘squatchy.
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Vampires, am I right? (*cue the spooky organ music that goes DA-NAH-NAH!!!*)
They have the skin of a killer, they lure lesbians into a romance, they can dance to Rocky Road to Dublin, and they slowly fade into grainy films. There are also different depictions of vampires, with some being cloak-wearing pointy-eared white dudes and others representing the discrimination faced by various cultures during the 1930’s.
When adapting Vampires to fit in Ritrion, we should probably determine the key traits of a vampire to properly fit them in. A quick Google search reveals that these key traits include “…being undead blood-drinkers with superhuman abilities (strength, speed, senses, healing), immortality/long life, aversion to sunlight, and often pale skin, fangs, and hypnotic charm, with powers like shapeshifting (bats, mist) or mind control…”.
So in terms of what’s biologically possible we’ve got hematophagy (feeding on blood, though the largest-known mammal to exclusively feed on blood is the now-extinct vampire bat known as Desmodus draculae), “superhuman abilities” like speed or strength (which need only some physiological shifts), a long life (common in many large mammals), aversion to sunlight, pale skin, and fangs. The other traits (shapeshifting, hypnotic charm, immortality, undead-ness) are far beyond the realms of natural plausibility.
In Ritrion, I can imagine that Vampires probably share a relatively-close relation to the genus Paranthropus, a genus of hominid who’s unique for its robust jaws and teeth. They’re unique for a boxy head equipped with a nose and lip structure like a cat’s, though their ears are large and reflect a bat’s more than a human’s. Since I don’t want to just have a bunch of bat-headed boys, I want to make the vampires more unique.
In Ritrion, Vampires are known to be larger than humans, though only by a foot or two. And unlike humans, Vampires have skin that’s on the yellower/citrus side (sometimes deep reddish tones) and has stripes! No two Vampire stripes are the same, though they also share the similar “template” of having a dark back with stripes that run down towards the abdomen and chest, similar to the stripes of a tiger or striped hyena. Their eyes, however, are like a cats’ and can range from green to blue to gold and (also like a cat) glow an eerie bright green/yellow when reflecting light.
Now, note that it’s actually not all that impossible for a hominid to have stripes. Granted, the melanin in Ritrion’s Vampires is more intense than in humans, but Homo sapiens do actually have stripes. Humans have “stripes” because our skin and tissues develop from cells that follow genetic patterns. We don’t normally see them because the stripes are usually the same color and thickness, and our skin pigments blend evenly. They become visible only under certain conditions (i.e, UV light, genetic conditions, illnesses like inflammation, or imaging techniques) that reveal differences in cell origin or structure.
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I think it’s also time I address something else: “Why?” Why are the wild humanoids in this project? There are a few reasons.
Obviously, because I want them. If the little worldbuilding kid in my heart wants to add these proverbial action figures to his immense paleo-fantasy collection, he’s going to get them. Also because it’s cool. The idea of a caravan of river traders encountering a Sasquatch facing off against a Spinosaurus mirabilis is just too cool to not allow. But there is another reason.
If you’ve ever watched the reboot of the Planet of the Apes series, then you know a very basic principle applies to all of the characters in that series: they’re allegories. My favorite example of this is in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. In that film, the chimpanzee Caesar represents a “flawed king” while his trusted-turned-evil lackey Koba represents the concept of the “fearful radical”. While they may be animals, they’re man’s core traits writ large. Our hate, our love, our kindness, and our grief. And since they’re not human, the writers can be comfortable with letting the apes, even though they’re still complex, fall into the roles of identifiable archetypes as that helps with the greater lessons in the story.
The Man-Beasts represent the “cores elements” of humanity. Each one can act as a living manifestation of the anger, kindness, peace, racial identity and pride, and stoicism that would make human characters seem too bland. It’s a great way to essentially have a living gallery of morals and archetypes that the main character(s) can encounter throughout their journey to manhood. Also, again, it’s super cool.
So with that, I think I’m going to end it off here. I’ll see y’all next time.
Cue Outro…
Copied over from my own Newsletter on Substack. "The Paleontology Author" https://substack.com/@paleoauthor
References
2026/02/16
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