by David De Paz
Around January, I got an email from my parents that was a forwarded message from Mr. Gonzalez with a link to sign up for the retreat. As I did with the other times that they did this, I pretended to ignore the email because I really didn’t feel like going on a retreat. A few days passed, and my parents emailed me again saying that I needed some sort of tangible reason to not go on the retreat, which I obviously couldn’t articulate. I knew they would continue to press me about it especially because my mom wanted me to go on the last one and I made up some excuse. I ended up signing up for the retreat because I didn’t feel like dealing with my parents being mad at me. I was not particularly excited for three days without my phone while praying, but I didn’t know how the experience would change my life.
When that Wednesday rolled around, I was a little more happy because instead of taking the Pre Calculus test that I had that day—which was definitely not going to be easy—I was going to miss school for three days. I thought I wasn’t going to start well because I didn’t factor in unexpected traffic when I left the house, but thankfully, the time on the email sent to us was earlier than when the retreat actually began, and I ended up technically being on time.
However, as I arrived, so did another problem. I looked around, and there wasn’t a single person that I could say I was good friends with. On top of that, the vast majority of people were seniors, which I thought would make it even harder to relate to them. It wasn’t the biggest deal because I don’t have a huge problem with being alone, but I was definitely disappointed. At this point, I still had a slightly negative mindset about the retreat, but I decided to go with an open mind.
After a quick talk from Mr. Gonzalez and an introduction to all of the leaders, we went outside for our first activity, which was playing a game together. It was there that I got to know my group members for the first time. Then, we would have lunch together, and subsequently began entering the chapel.
Throughout my time at the retreat, we went inside the chapel very many times. As someone who is not particularly spiritual, I was bored at first, but the chapel quickly became my favorite place at the retreat. Our meetings at the chapel consisted of a talk from one of the leaders or staff and then a reflection outside with our small groups. These talks were very impactful as they helped me see the reality for my fellow classmates and relate to them.
When we talked in our small groups, we gradually got to know each other better and had meaningful conversations reflecting on the talks the leaders gave. However, the most important thing for me in the retreat was how my relationship with prayer changed.
Without my phone, I became more focused on the prayers. On the first night, Mr. Ortega visited us and we prayed the rosary together. This experience changed me a lot, as what I used to think were repetitive prayers that lacked significant meaning turned into a great connection between me, my classmates and God. The second day, we shared mass and prayed a lot, but the part of our time in the chapel that I enjoyed the most was when we engaged in a prayer called a Taize prayer. This prayer involves singing together, so at first, we were all struggling out of embarrassment or laughter. However, once we took it seriously and just a few of us started doing it, everyone was able to participate. Praying together with my classmates was an unforgettable experience for me.
Another important experience that took place within the chapel was when we opened our “palancas,” our letters from loved ones supporting us during the retreat. Many of us got emotional reading these letters, and we shared our experiences after. Overall, the chapel was a place where we all formed stronger bonds with each other by sharing our thoughts and emotions, and ultimately a place where we strengthened our relationship with God.
Some of the most impactful moments for me during the retreat was when we were given talks by the adults. Mr. Jesurun, Mr. Kruczek and Mr. Gonzalez all shared tragic experiences in their lives where they genuinely struggled and suffered greatly. Whether it was about them or their loved ones, their talks gave me real insight into how it feels when your back is against the wall, everything seems to be going wrong, and you have no one to rely on save God. Their stories all shared one thing in common. The only thing that got them through the experience was prayer and reliance on God. Living a privileged life, I haven’t had to experience anything remotely near the amount of pressure and suffering they felt, but I have doubted God. They never gave up, and neither did God, which changed the way I viewed suffering.
An important thing to mention about the retreat that might keep some people from going is the fact that we had no technology. I think I can speak for most teenagers when I say that I am usually on my phone more than I should be, and this leads to wasting time. I knew this, so going into the retreat, I hoped to detox from my devices if anything.
However, what I experienced was very different from what I was expecting. I thought that I would just be at peace or whatever, which was true, but it was so much more than that. I genuinely felt more alive during my time at the retreat, like my experiences felt more real than before. This made it more fulfilling despite not having a phone, and I honestly didn’t get bored.
Furthermore, during the retreat, I felt more connected to nature. While we went outside, I reflected on the talk Mr. Gonzalez gave us in which he reminded us to “stop and look at the sun.” I realized how beautiful the world around us is, and it made my experience that much better. My attention span was so much better that when we laid down outside and stared at the moon for what seemed like twenty minutes, it felt completely natural and I didn’t have any urge to suddenly be doing something more stimulating.
All in all, the retreat literally changed my life. Although it sounds cliché, it’s the genuine truth. My relationship with God, my classmates, prayer and even nature drastically improved, and I left at noon on Friday with an entirely new perspective on all of these things.
However, one thing emphasized throughout the retreat was to not lose what we gained when we returned to our normal lives. In other words, “living the fourth day,” which is still something I am trying to do, and I hope everyone else is trying to as well.
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