Resident Hobbitologists Mr.Casals and Mr.Linfors set to take a year off to travel to Mordor

By Mark Tanner

In breaking Columbus news, beloved Hobbitology teacher Mr. Casals and former Hobbitology teacher Mr. Linfors have announced a yearlong vacation from Columbus to visit Mordor, the homeland of “The Lord of the Rings” and, according to Mr. Linfors,

“the only place left that still understands a proper quest.”

The idea reportedly began during a regular faculty meeting, where Mr. Linfors texted Mr. Casals a picture of a map of Middle-earth, saying,

“Yo, are you down? Because I am.”

Witnesses say Mr. Casals took a 20-second look at the map before responding,

“Is this because you’re tired of students asking if hobbits are just short humans?”

Mr. Linfors responded with,

“That, and I need to feel something again.”

According to their itinerary, the pair will begin in the Shire, then move through Rivendell for what Mr. Casals described as,

“a very necessary meditation break.”

They will then proceed straight into Mordor, where they plan to conduct research on ring-related stress, the long-term effects of whispering artifacts on middle-aged men as well as fighting off some orcs.

Administrators confirmed substitutes will cover Hobbitology using a curriculum described as mostly movies and a very hard handwritten essay. Mr. Casals left behind a very detailed lesson plan with a note that reads,

“If the board stops working, just ask: what would Gandalf do?”

Before departing, Mr. Linfors handed Mr. Casals a travel request form, with Mr. Casals writing,

“I feel a personal need to stand near Mount Doom and think about my life choices.”

The duo plans to return with souvenirs, a bunch of stories and a new elective titled “Advanced Ring Temptation: Why You Should Not Touch That.”

Until then, Columbus will have to carry on without its Hobbitology heroes, comforted only by the knowledge that somewhere, deep in Mordor, two teachers are arguing about canon while fighting for their lives and dodging fireballs.